Does Saying “I’m Sorry” Mean More Than “I Love You”?

 

ttronslien-0749

How often do we say or do things to people we love that we regret?

If life were perfect the answer would be “never”. But the reality is that we are all flawed and will cross the line into hurtful words and actions.

Healthy relationships are not conflict free.  Conflict is a part of life, but what sets healthy relationships apart from unhealthy, is the ability to repair after conflict.

Psychologist and researcher Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues has studied the interactions and conversations of thousands of couples.  He has found that a key to healthy relationships is the ability to:

1. Repair through words and actions that say “I’m sorry”.

2.  Work to build  trust through exploring the life of the person you love with questions and listening.

Listen to podcast above and hear a short excerpt of a speech given by John Gottman on this topic. Plus I summarize my thoughts on why saying “I’m sorry” is difficult for us and addition steps for building our relationships so our repairs are helpful.

 

If you’d like to read more on this topic I highly recommend John Gottman’s book:  The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

His strategies apply to our relationships with our spouses, partners, children and friends.

Drive By Wisdom: Should Humans Be On The Endangered Species List?

  We need to consider our future as a species.  Human’s are brilliant, special, and inventive.  But we are also destructive, abusive, and violent.  In this short video I’ll explore my thoughts on our future and ways we can make a difference for our species, other species we share this world with, and our environment.

Continue reading...

Drive By Wisdom: Ask For What You Need

                          It’s hard for us to get our needs met if we are not willing or brave enough to ask for what we need. In this episode of Drive By Wisdom, we’ll explore how asking for help can improve your life.  Click on […]

Continue reading...

Drive By Wisdom: Letting Go of the Outcome

In this Episode of Drive By Wisdom we’ll look at how letting go of the outcome can help you achieve your goals with less stress and more engagement. Play the short video below.

Continue reading...

You Know It’s Been A Good Summer When Your Feet Are Tan

It’s hard to believe that summer is winding down.  Here in Minnesota the Minnesota State Fair starts soon and wraps up on Labor Day.  Nothing in Minnesota signals the end of summer than our State Fair. Take a look at your feet and notice what shade of color they are.  Do they look like they’ve […]

Continue reading...

Drive by Wisdom: What is a Crisis of Faith?

  In this next episode of Drive by Wisdom we’ll look at what a crisis of faith is about and how it can be a platform for growth.

Continue reading...